Have you ever being in a point of life where nothing seemed to work out? That point where a person tends to give up; where you feel as if you are standing at the edge of a cliff and realizing there’s no way back, no way forward, no way anywhere other than falling from the cliff into an abyss?
I am at that point, helpless and vulnerable. So, that same feeling I’m going through where I’m standing at the edge of a cliff, with negativity crawling up my back wishing to throw me away some time when I do finally give up. I still do stand there knowing not what to do, I feel constant stabbing behind my back (way more than Julius Caesar ever could imagine). Each day I get pushed a little further at the edge, I see pebbles cracking off and tumbling down the mysterious abyss. The sky isn’t blue anymore, the birds dont sing anymore, the wind doesn’t blow anymore. All I see is the mist covered abyss growling at me.
Things seem very dark and cold right now, as long as I think it is. No, I don’t need help, I got an audience where some wished I jump and some wish I fight back. But I dont let them choose what I do because I’ll have to help myself. As I said it is dark as long as I think it is. I choose to think that the abyss is not as dark as it seems, how about I take a leap of faith and see what’s down below? Of anything goes wrong I’ll just respawn like in a game and start over again.
As I have noticed that it’s all in the head. No one can help me nor anyone will teach me how to come out of it, it is me all along, who walked by the path to the cliff. I am the tutor and I am the student, I teach myself how to deal with my own things. We are all basically wearing colored glasses, we see what we are shown; take them off and see the black and white, grab on to a paint brush and a palette paint it the way you want it.
The reason I’m saying this is as many of us go through shit, we dont feel like being there anymore and just give up. We all have different sources of negativity. People tell us not to give up and fight back, but it’s not that which is making us strong, we do give up but in a different way, by taking a leap of faith, by moving forward as we dont have any clue what’s ahead. Dont cling onto non lasting minimal motivation that people give, motivate yourself. You are the puppet and the puppeteer.